You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
