you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
