420 ftw
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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