Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
