Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
