dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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