Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How's work?
Spinning.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
