I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
