why didn't you poke me back
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
