I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
