At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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