fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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