Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
