we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize