Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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