this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
