After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize