every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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