I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think your dad took our porno
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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