we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize