Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
