:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Randomize
