it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
