I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
