How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
