Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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