I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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