he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
