I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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