Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
