how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
