guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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