I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
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