we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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