whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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