I murdered the dance floor call the cops
My hand turned me down
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
