Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
