i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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