Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm getting married
To pizza
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
