How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
