Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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