i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
