Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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