worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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