If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
