Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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