theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
