I just threw up on my dentist
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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