im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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