So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
this hospital has no fireball
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize