the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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