Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize