So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize