i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
