I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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