I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Randomize
