tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
