Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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