omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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