I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
