So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
