I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
