Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
