I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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